i feel like i am always wearing masks, hiding my true face to the extent that i do not know it anymore.
which one is the true me, docile or resistant
strong or weak.
everyday i have to wear a different mask and through out the day i have to keep changing them. I go around with my bag of masks putting on one and taking off the other in an endless regular ritual.  and i cannot breath under the masks i want to take them off and breath at will but i cannot. i do not even know how to do that anymore.
i cannot go arounnd without any  masks on and my face is not mine anymore it's part of the mask 
in the past i longed for someone in front of whom i can take off the mask and be myself
now i am not sure that such a person exists and whether i am still capable of such a meeting or not